Whilst the legal process of my divorce was finalised a few years ago now, there were still parts of me that have felt married. It’s an ongoing process of unhooking from being and identifying as being a wife. A legal document ends a marriage in the eyes of the law yet our heart operates differently. It takes time to heal in amongst letting go and finally coming to a place where you are ready to step into the new.
I valued and respected my marriage vows – in the eyes of the Church and God. Even-though I wasn’t a religious person these vows still packed a mighty punch within me. Strongly anchored me into a time and place that was no longer more. I felt like I had betrayed so many by these vows being broken. Least of all myself.
Early after my divorce I had read about the power of ritual especially for the ending of long term relationships. To create for yourself a ritual of gratitude for what was, releasing and inviting the new. At the time I did create a ritual for myself at the one year mark of the ending of my marriage. Here now though another 4 years on I still felt strongly hooked to these vows.
It came to me to visit the Church that I was married in and perform a gratitude and cleaning ritual at that place, on the church grounds. Tricky thing was it was over 3,000 km from where I currently lived.
I had however arranged a trip back home to celebrate my 50th birthday. I committed on this journey to revisit this sacred place and release the vows I had made and myself from them and in doing so any associated guilt.
It was an extremely cathartic experience. To be on that land, to review and reflect. To let go. To give thanks. To make peace with myself, other and the outplay of events.
I felt to include the rescinding of vows ceremony I undertook. It is below.
Perhaps the same process could be healing for you? I would welcome your comments on this.
Sit, ground, connect to all times present, past and future
Expand to take it all ‘in’, hold the space necessary
I draw back to me
I rescind the vows made at this church in holy matrimony to xxxxx in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit with love, gratitude and humility.
In doing so I pull back to me any energy, aspects, dynamics and unfulfilled potential separated at that point.
Bring all of me back here now, to anchor, to take up residence if it is still in alignment with planetary plan and purpose.
I also clear and rescind any vows made and connections established to his family, my family in the name of God.
I move forward with an open and compassionate heart