Impacted by suicide

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
Robin Williams

In the early evening of November 15th 2000 my idyllic existence was shattered.  I received a phone call informing me that my brother had ended his life.  In the years that followed I wrote my way through the pain, anguish, despair, grief and loss.  It was the only healthy way of dealing with my grief that I could connect with, at that time. 

Most of those words have now been discarded or burnt.  They did what they needed.  Cathartic and healing.   Some though I felt to keep and these words over the past years have provided me with solace.  They were markers of healing, healthier perspectives on suicide, insights of personal growth and expressions of love between my brother and I.

Many years later, I was impressed upon to share of my experience through words. Words endeavouring to convey my personal account of moving through my brothers’ death by suicide.

The result being ‘Last Goodbye – a personal sharing of losing a loved one to suicide’. I offer it to you as a complimentary ebook.

My intention of sharing is to shine light and engender hope.  Suicide is not an easy thing to get your head around let alone heal your heart too.   Enclosed within is what helped me to bring peace to my aching heart and soul.  It is my story.  It won’t resonate for everyone.  This I truly appreciate.  In moments, my words may make sense to you, in others not so.  My words may challenge your belief systems and cause discomfort.  In these moments, all I ask of you is to hold a space of compassion and empathy for yourself, my experience and where it took me. 

Perhaps these words may bring solace, hope, enable healing to occur in some small way, or be a catalyst for you to embrace the experience more fully and in doing so live your life more love and acceptance for self and other.

It was highlighted to me at some point in my healing journey that having a loved one die by suicide is not an every day occurrence.  Yet for me it had become such.  In an unhealthy way, it was starting to filter into my sense of self, how I parented and the way I related with life.  I presumed, that this was a natural way – that all paths led ‘to here’.  Not so.  This is a unique experience.  So in light of this, these words are here to assist in clearing and healing wounds and to perhaps provide solace and light to those in the middle of, or those who have moved through a similar experience.

There is no ‘one way’ or ‘right way’ to grieve and move through the experience of losing someone we love by suicide.  Grief is a highly personalized journey into self.  Our experiences will be framed by our own perception of events, our family beliefs, society conditioning and any religious dogma in place. 

If you too have been impacted by suicide and feel the need to talk about your experience and find a healthy way to move through I offer holistic counselling sessions to support you.

Please contact me for further details.

If you are in crisis and need of support please contact:

Lifeline   13 11 14