My ancestral search quest began back in 1995 not long after my first child was born. Yet it wasn’t until 20 years later that it was really given space and time. Recently divorced, I was longing for connection. All of my relationships were altering, I was lost and felt completely disconnected. The searching process of my ancestors gave me a connection. A point from which I realised I am one within many. Whilst I felt alone, I too have come from somewhere and in that slowly redefined what true connection is.
One curious element sprang forth in amongst hours and hours and hours of ancestry research. Why was it that certain family members, many two or three generations back seemed so familiar? How is that they literally jump out from ancestry.com into my life with such a force that I became almost obsesses with them and their life journey? Where did the tears come from within me as I read their personal challenges? Why do some have this huge red flag waving at me whilst others are simply names on a page, foreign and always will be? No heart pull, simply silence. Why did some places from lands far away feel like home? What was the pull I felt to travel to the other side of the Planet? Intriguing.
The deeper into my generational research, the further back in time I travelled themes of life experiences began to emerge. I began to put together the pieces of my puzzle.
I was most intrigued about the repetition of personal challenges and how these similarities connected one generation to the next. One after the other my grandmothers, great grand mothers, great-great grandmothers and even three generations back revealed their stories of loss and pain.
The one common thread was their experience of having to start life anew following the deep personal loss of their husband (or other significant male) either through death or divorce.
In reading their stories I felt a kinship a connection. I felt my own. What was it I could learn from them in overcoming my own personal challenge? How did they go on? What did they do? What qualities did they engender that I could access in the here and now? I realised I wasn’t alone in my grief, the women before could show me a way. No longer were many of them names on pages but real women demonstrating courage and resilience.
I also became curious from a soul perspective about the repetition of patterns, the imprints of the past and the potential for transgenerational healing being presented for me. Transgenerational trauma, the awareness of it, in of itself, is ripe with potential for personal insight, healing and transformation. I will write more on this later.
My experience of being compelled to visit place, strong connection to particular ancestors and my introduction into the field of transgenerational imprints and trauma have added another element to Enlightened Traveller.
By visiting place and being open to what was revealed, could I play some part in healing imprints of the past? Would this heal the wounds and enable a new path to be created?